When It's Rukia
by Suisho x Hirako Shinji
Summary: On hiatus until further notice  A Rukia-centric fic, based on the viewpoints of people close to her, and not so close. Rated T for mild violence, language, and alcoholic references.
1. Abarai Renji

**Super-long-author-note:** Hey, this is Suisho x Hirako Shinji, until I change my penname in a fit of fickleness again. This is my first fanfiction, though I joined this site several years ago. I've been meaning to get to posting, but I've never had the motivation to do so. I was re-watching an episode of Bleach, 161 specifically, and got some inspiration to write watching Renji fight Szayel. It's a rather shallow skimming of their battle and Renji's feelings about Rukia as a friend (or lover, interpret it as you will), but I liked it the way it was, and couldn't bring myself to add anything else. I hope you like it! I might add more characters' view points for this, and maybe start some other fics! Please visit my **profile page**.

Some other things I'll mention here. I'm a big supporter of correct mechanics (spelling, punctuation, capitalization). If you see any mistakes in mechanics or grammar in my works, feel free to notify me. I won't get mad, in fact, I'd be glad if someone would help. I want to learn from my mistakes, and it's better if someone else points it out for you.

I'm not review-hungry, so I won't nag you guys for any. But I'd like to voice the opinions I think most authors on this site have: We don't always want reviews saying "Update, please!" or "That was sexy!", etc. Most of us want to know how we did, where we can improve on, and what elements to keep and expand upon. A lot of the authors' goals on this site is to have fun sharing and reading stories. So please, the next time you are moved or impressed enough to write a review, write a little bit more, no matter how short, like: "You have good humor!" It makes a lot of positive difference. :)

Before this review gets any longer, I'll end it. Please check my profile for more info. I might set up a poll in the near future.

This is rated **T** for language.

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><p><strong>When It's Rukia - Abarai Renji<strong>

When Renji later reflected on his battles in Hueco Mundo, he came to realize some things.

As he fought the 8th strongest Arrancar and Espada, his limbs burning yet weary, his only thought had been, not to beat the opponent before him, surprisingly enough, but to keep the promise he had made with his nakama not too long ago. _I'm definitely going to return. We all will_, had been the thoughts of everyone at the time, but as the one who had initiated the promise, Renji held an even stronger duty to uphold it.

Even if his body was clamoring for him to drop dead under the current strain of battle.

He grit his teeth and swung Zabimaru numerous times, cursing his opponent the whole while. It had been disconcerting to say the least to discover his Bankai could not be activated not because of the limitations of his body, but because of an outside, invisible force, without his consent. No matter. He had faced many hardships with his Shikai, pure determination and hard work alone. There should be no reason for those key elements to fail him now, at least, not to the point of death.

A sudden blur of deceptively lazy movement, and he was pushed back, with more injuries. Blood spattered.

Damn it all.

He panted and tried to still his shaking limbs, taking advantage of the brief lull in the battle, though he didn't know the entirety of its cause.  
>He had only heard some of the strange Fraccion of the Espada report that Arr-, well, some stupidly complicated name like that of his current foe, had died.<p>

Szayel Apporo Granz had seemed mildly shocked, before that stupid smug smile of his had replaced his shocked expression.

"It says that they killed each other, Shinigami-kun."

"What are you talking about?"

"As I said, one of your friends and an Espada killed each other."

Ice-cold horror filled his veins. How odd, when his body was sweating and fire still burned in his muscles. This he thought, as the Octava continued his maddening clapping.

"Congratulations. That's quite an accomplishment."

Who? Who was it? _No._ He refused to think who had fallen, who had broken the promise, when he had no reason to trust this bastard's information.

"You don't know if they really killed each other," he retorted, hoping to sound more confident than he felt. He held onto his sentence even as the last syllable faded into the air, clinging onto it like a drowning man, as if that phrase alone would prove the Espada's statement false. It couldn't be true. It was pure bullshit as far as he was concerned.

Maddeningly smug, as if he knew something Renji didn't know, Szayel replied "Not convinced it's true? I wouldn't be so optimistic. I even know the name of the person who died."

It wasn't true. Szayel may have collected his fighting data, but his brother had not come in contact with any of his friends in Hueco Mundo. He would let this joker play out his bluff. Yet unease settled into his stomach, coiling like a snake.

"One of your friends is named _Kuchiki_, right?"

Shock didn't account for his following actions, he later attributed it to some unknown, simpler, more basic instinct. Zabimaru whistled through the air and clanged against the iron stance of Szayel's sword, straining to cut it and crying out its bloodlust. Unsurprised, Szayel had flicked up his sword to intercept Renji's.

_Rukia!_

"That reaction was just as I anticipated," he informed Renji, bored, as if he were merely recounting the weather. "You really are interesting."

Something... something new was now building up in Renji's stomach, replacing the tightly coiled snake of unease. Something that was too warm, getting too hot... hot...

"But I've said this several times now."

It was burning, he had to douse it or let it out, let it all out...

"A mere Shikai can't hurt an Espada-"

An explosion rocked the chamber and smoke spread and swirled.

"...Shut your friggin' trap," Renji growled.

It had to get out, he had to let this flame, this fire out. It was too late to douse it, to control it, he had to...

"Outta my way!"

A wordless howl, a spring and a few clashes later, and he understood.

_For Rukia,_ he thought. 

_Clang!_

_For the promise._

_Skrrrch!_

This fire, this blasted swirling conflagration...

Blast upon blasts showered the duelers with dirt and rock. Smoke resumed its position in the air.

He had to...

Had to let this fire, this _anger_-

Burn.


	2. Kyoraku Shunsui

**Not-so-long-author-note:** Hey! This is the second chapter of When It's Rukia! I'll say more in the author note below, **so please read the author note below.**

This is rated **T **for brief references to porn and violence.

**Warning: Possible spoilers**

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><p><strong>When It's Rukia – Kyoraku Shunsui<strong>

Kyoraku Shunsui wasn't the fool most made him out to be. Nor the perv- … Well, not a _complete_ pervert. But in any case, there was more to him than what the public usually saw, as was the case for pretty much anyone. Nobody was simple. People were always fascinating, strange, and complex, and he had come across no one as complex as Aizen Sousuke, Kurosaki Ichigo, and Kuchiki Rukia.

100 years ago, during the time when the Visored were captains and Aizen was nothing more than a competent, mild, and polite-mannered lieutenant, juxtaposed to his rougher and louder captain Hirako Shinji, he had been unaware yet aware of many trivial and non-trivial matters.

He had been aware of his vice-captain's porn-reading habits, which he supposed couldn't count as a matter he was aware of, for she made no effort to hide it and was bold and proud in expressing her interest. Lisa Yadomaru was the antithesis to his current vice-captain, Ise Nanao, in many ways. He had also been aware of, to some extent, the false-expression and demeanor Aizen constantly exuded.

It had simply started out as a sense of unease around the 5th Division lieutenant that he couldn't quite explain. After all, Aizen had exhibited nothing to the public outwardly to give them reason to distrust his person.

But Kyouraku wasn't just part of the "public". He was one of the oldest, most respected captains of the Gotei 13, and student of the current Captain Commander, Yamamoto Genryusai, so he had considerable influence, and ample time to study why exactly this bookish-looking officer unsettled him so.

He had decided it was because Aizen's manners had seemed fake. It wasn't exactly forced, but he couldn't help but notice moments when Aizen's tone had held traces of what he interpreted as disdain. Feelings of disdain and contempt for his seniors and the powerful captains of the Gotei 13, almost as if they held little power compared to him? That implication had worried Shunsui slightly. It was afterwards that he noticed Shinji's similar feelings about his adjutant, though more obvious and in the open. Suspicion brewed, but evidence did not. He was regrettably caught unawares of Aizen's deception later, and strangled with guilt and growing doubts for the next 100 years.

He was caught unawares by Aizen's illusion. He only found out later that it was the result of a sensory hypnosis by his Zanpaktou, but at the time, it had momentarily cleared his suspicions against the soon-to-be traitor. It had angered him that such promising captains had fallen victim to this traitor, this sneaky mastermind, but he was also angry with himself for many years for his rash decision to send Lisa out to the front lines. He couldn't help but coddle her at times, and that time had been no different. He had volunteered her for the job in place of the Kido Corps Captain, only to find out that she had been turned something neither Shinigami, nor Hollow, and would never settle into one or the other ever again. It also didn't help that Nanao's cold demeanor towards him partially stemmed from his broken promise that her favorite night-time reading companion would return.

His doubts grew again after the scandal when Aizen was promoted as a Captain. His wicked plots entangled everyone in Seireitei and the ryoka, and left them quite befuddled and disorganized. As the day of fruition for Aizen's plans, unbeknownst to most, he seemed to slip more and more, and the circumstances around him grew more curious and suspicious, especially his "death". Then there was the ryoka.

The ryoka. The "drifters", as they had been previously known as, brought two more interesting people to the forefront of his life: Kurosaki Ichigo and Kuchiki Rukia.

There wasn't much to say about Ichigo from his viewpoint. Like all humans, he was complex, but his motives and morals were surprisingly basic and simple, though some of his attacks and abilities were anything but. His morals were also just and pure, a fact that escaped the notice of many who focused on his somewhat insolent, brash, and reckless behavior. But Kyoraku privately thought he was a good kid at heart and liked his refreshing attitude in ol' stiff Seireitei. What? Times could use change. Ichigo was very protective of those close to him, and sometimes, even complete strangers benefited from his protection. It had come as a bit of a shock to discover his true potential, such as his destruction of the Sokyoku, but it had also shocked him that the extents Ichigo had been willing to go to rescue his savior, concerning a Hollow attack on his family.

Kuchiki Rukia.

Kuchiki Rukia was somewhat of an anomaly, not only to humans, but to Shinigami as well. Her past was similar to many Shinigami officers: a rougher upbringing than most, to be sure, but within the same vast area that was Rukongai. She preformed adequately at the Academy, but never could quite master the necessary combat skills. She was also close to, if not, anti-social with peers, save her childhood Rukongai friend, Abarai Renji, who would later become a talented lieutenant of the 6th Division's captain and the head of the Kuchiki house, Kuchiki Byakuya. And that was where a lot of scandal ensued.

A Rukongai street rat, a nobody, adopted into the prestigious Kuchiki clan, exempt of graduation tests, and introduced immediately into the Gotei 13? Such a thing was unheard of and much talked about. After a while, the clamor faded, but he sensed the same feelings of disbelief lingering around the 6th Division and the Academy.

He also found that despite her anti-social tendencies at the Academy, and stiff pride she had to uphold as a new member of the Kuchiki house, she later befriended people easily. It was frowned upon for her "fraternization" with commoners, considering her noble status, but it gave a relief to the public who was scared of the cold Kuchiki head and house, as well as their influence and power. Her somewhat rebellious and easy-going personality (compared to Byakuya) gave the Kuchiki house some semblance of openness. And despite her premature graduation, she began to grow under the tutelage of her new Division's lieutenant, 13th vice-captain Shiba Kaien.

It was clear from the start to everyone that she held something of a crush on him, an innocent idol-slash-mentor sort of adoration for someone who taught her to improve her combat skills without wavering and helped to integrate her into her Division and the Gotei 13. She didn't pursue it, however, mindful of his marriage with his third seat and wife, Shiba Miyako.

Then had come _that_ incident.

Much worry, like the incident 100 years ago, had erupted over a Hollow incident, though to a lesser degree. A rampant Hollow had managed to wipe out many Shinigami, bespeaking of great cunning and danger. Miyako was deployed with other officers to deal with the situation, but was brought back from her mission covered in injuries, and proceeded to slaughter her comrades at night due to the twisted controlling of the Hollow. His good friend and 13th Division captain Ukitake Jushiro undertook the mission with Kaien and Rukia to exterminate the Hollow, realizing the situation was quickly escalating out of control. At its location in the forest, the Hollow proceeded to horrify them with its accounts of its abilities and deeds, and soon engaged in a battle with the enraged, revenge-driven husband of its last victim. It turned ugly quickly when it gained control of Kaien's body, and used it to attack Rukia. Rukia, whether she had realized that she was going to die, or her captain's frantic orders, or had determined herself that this monstrosity could not continue, even at the cost of her mentor's life, had impaled him upon her sword, and what little that remained of her innocence cracking, withering, and fading.

It had been sad for everyone to be around her for a while.

Then she had gone on a mission to the real world, her first, and returned with much scandal and, eventually, a death sentence on her head, before Kurosaki Ichigo had come to save her. Kyoraku's friend Ukitake had been somewhat astonished at the changes in Rukia after meeting Ichigo. When he had visited her jail cell and witnessed her heated squabble with Ichigo, hope had flared for her sanity and emotional health. Despite their mutual feelings and bonds about the tragic incident in the forest, and his attempts to comfort her, she was never the same again. She had grown colder and more wary of making new relationships. Yet she had formed something indescribable, an unshakeable bond with a human boy in mere months. Intriguing.

He hadn't really observed her much other than that, too preoccupied with enjoying life with sake and flirting, trying to win the affections of Nanao (his heart panged when he saw her carrying a book, for it so reminded him of Lisa's nighttime reading with his lieutenant), and the war that that had been wrought by Aizen. But he concluded several things.

She was protective much like Ichigo, and firmly believed in what she thought was right, and stuck with it. She was startlingly pure, despite her rough past in Inuzuri, the 78th district of a part of Rukongai, her experiences in the cold Kuchiki house, the heart-damaging killing of Kaien Shiba, and the execution, as well as the following troubles at the hands of Aizen, all because of a small happiness with her fateful encounter with a human boy. She was comical and endearing, and had many equally protective friends, and was unafraid to manhandle her guy friends when the occasion called for it.

She was intriguing, nothing more than that. Nothing less. And now, Kyoraku decided, he had to take a nap, and ponder on lighter things for a while.

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><p><strong>Super-long-author-note:<strong> Hey guys! If you read the previous author notes, congratulations! If not, please read them! I recently read on an author's profiel (I forget who) that people are more prone to read author notes at the bottom. I'm going to do an experiment. The first person to review this fic with the message (Hirako Shinji - ijnihS okariH) will get a short oneshot (one chapter) from me about the Bleach universe, preferably a pairing. I'll post the winner in the next chapter, and message that person. Please be patient, as I have little time in my hands.

This chapter is from Kyoraku Shunsui's viewpoint, since he is one of my favorite characters, and because I wanted to balance this fic with people who are and aren't so prominent in Rukia's life. I think this chapter covered too much of Aizen. Let me know if you think the same or otherwise! I love reviews, feedback, and constructive criticism! I also think I cut it a bit short at the end, but I like it that way because Kyoraku doesn't have much interactions with Rukia in the manga to begin with. And I liked it this way, so I posted it like this. This went a lot more in-depth than the first chapter, so I might add another analysis by Renji in the future or leave it. The first chapter's style was different than this.

Some other things I'll mention here. I'm a big supporter of correct mechanics (spelling, punctuation, capitalization). If you see any mistakes in mechanics or grammar in my works, feel free to notify me. I won't get mad, in fact, I'd be glad if someone would help. I want to learn from my mistakes, and it's better if someone else points it out for you.

I'm not review-hungry, so I won't nag you guys for any. But I'd like to voice the opinions I think most authors on this site have: We don't always want reviews saying "Update, please!" or "That was sexy!", etc. Most of us want to know how we did, where we can improve on, and what elements to keep and expand upon. A lot of the authors' goals on this site is to have fun sharing and reading stories. So please, the next time you are moved or impressed enough to write a review, write a little bit more, no matter how short, like: "You have good humor!" It makes a lot of positive difference. :)

Before this review gets any longer, I'll end it. **Please check my profile for more info.** I might set up a poll in the near future.


	3. Yamada Hanatarou

**Not-so-long-author-note:** Hey! This is the third chapter of When It's Rukia! I'll say more in the author note below, **so please read the author note below.**

This is rated **T** for brief references to violence and language.

**Warning: Possible spoilers**

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><p><strong>When It's Rukia – Yamada Hanatarou<strong>

"Oi, you, move the surgical trays to Room 15! And while you're at it, take these bandages!"

"Squad 9 officers from 5th seat to 10th seat have arrived heavily injured! Requesting backup medics at Room 23!"

"Move it, move it, hurry up! We've got injured people here!"

"Ugh, patient 496 spilled his soup again… Geez…."

"Oi, you!"

He sighed. Another busy day at the 4th Division healing center, and another whirlwind of commotion, orders, disorganized supplies and taxed medics. The same thing time and time again. Weak and timid he may be, but Hanatarou couldn't help but wish for something more interesting than this daily chaos, even if said chaos was already hectic and frazzling enough.

"Out of the way!"

"I-I'm sorry!" This he squeaked as he jumped out of the way of the 9th seat of the 4th squad, who was juggling rolls of bandages, parchment, blankets and soup while running at full pelt down the hallway. After watching the officer for a moment or two, he set off to the entrance to see if there were any more incoming patients, having run out of obligations to do. The 7th seat darted between people as best as he could with his miniscule body, and managed to reach the entrance in good time. He stuck his head out past the open doors and took a whiff of fresh air. Though he was accustomed to the smell of disinfectant, blood, puke, and all the nasty odors people associated with their squad's healing quarters, nothing quite beat the smell of fresh grass and the feel of energy in the air, charged with soul particles.

He was shaken out of his reverie for a moment when he felt an odd vibration. He flicked his head up, shaking his hair out of his face, and spotted a rather sizable dust cloud some distance off. He withdrew his head in called out to his passing senior officer, Yasochika Iemura.

"Third seat Yasochika-san! The 11th Division is coming again!"

A collective groan went up around him from those who could still hear despite the clamor and those who had begun to feel the telltale vibrations under the soles of their feet. Iemura, who was always frazzled, appeared even more agitated than usual. One arm tucked against his body held numerous scrolls within its grasp, but were sloppily bunched together, a lock of hair was hanging loose from his slick hairdo, and he was sweating buckets of sweat, with eyes darting this way and that under his glasses.

"We don't have time for those brutes right now!" he growled in frustration. "Almost all rooms are completely full today, and we have news that more are on the way! Geesh, can't they keep their brawls under wraps for _just_ one day?" He ran down his intended path, but not before ordering Hanatarou to somehow prevent them from entering the building. After all, as Iemura put it, sniffing disdainfully, "those brutes never have major injuries to begin with."

Little Hanatarou shook with fear at this implication, wondering how he would ever manage to quell the bloodthirsty fighter group known as the 11th Division. It turned out later, that he needn't have worried. The vibrations stopped and everyone who was accustomed to the brawlers unannounced and unwelcome visits looked around in confusion. Hanatarou peeked out his head to see what the cause was, before shock flitted across his face. Byakuya was staring impassively down at the group of fighters, and though some were acting tough, many were quailing under his ice-cold stare and the faintest _flicker_ of Spirit Pressure that he was purposely leaking. And next to him, smaller in stature…

"Rukia-sama!"

"I told you before that you can drop the honorifics, Hanatarou," she admonished half-heartedly. "Well, that _was_ months ago." Rukia entered through the doorway, her face an odd mixture of happiness and of pain. Distracted, Rukia quickly glanced back, and bowed. "Thank you nii-sama, but I think I can manage fine now." Rukia's odd phrase drew Hanatarou's attention back to her, and he gasped, horrified. "Rukia-san, your shoulder!"

Rukia glanced at said bloody shoulder, and shook her head dismissively. "It's nothing, Hanatarou. And nii-sama, I'll be fine an-"

"Fine in a place where 11th Division members do not know their place? I think not," came the cool voice of Kuchiki Byakuya. "K-Kuchiki-taichou!" addressed the young Shinigami, waving his hands about. "Would you like something? O-oh, first, would you like to sit somewhere? And-" He was interrupted however by Iemura, who bowed to Byakuya, before steering his sister hurriedly to one of the available rooms. Iemura called to Byakuya, "We have received your hell butterfly sir, and rest assured that Rukia-san will be of first priority for our healers." Byakuya gave no comment except a small grunt and sat down on one of the chairs on the left side of the hallway, looking around and apparently unimpressed.

Though the walls and floors were squeaky clean, Hanatarou had to admit the sweaty, pushing masses of healers and patients in and out of rooms in a clearly disorganized state, evidenced by their lopsided attire or supplies could hardly make a good impression to most visitors, especially Kuchiki Byakuya.

Kuchiki Byakuya. Hanatarou still couldn't quite get over his fear of the noble, despite the past incidents he had lived through during Rukia's incarceration. He had always appeared cold and scarily powerful, and his attempt to kill him after wounding Shiba Ganju hadn't exactly been the ideal follow-up to his impression of the 6th Division captain. But then again, it was due to his actions that he had been there in the first place, to save Rukia.

Yamada Hanatarou may have been a 7th seat of the 4th squad, and one of Unohana-taichou's favorites, but even so, not many people regarded him as an equal, if they even noticed him to begin with. That's why he was so taken with Rukia's personality, who, despite her noble status, looked upon him as if he were merely another a person, an _equal_. _Finally_.

His first jail visit had been nerve-wracking, since it was his first time dealing with a noble prisoner with such a fantastic crime. The minute he had walked into the 6th Division jail holding, he was struck by how solitary and subdued she seemed. He let himself in with his key, broom in the other hand.

"_U-um, Rukia-sama! I will begin the jail cleaning!"_

_Rukia flicked her gaze up to him, and offhandedly, he thought how sad the eyes were, sad as the sight of her in jail had been from the other side of the bars. Something in her expression twitched as if she were remembering something unpleasant, so he braced himself for the punishment he was sure to befall him, despite her status as a prisoner. Nobles held much power in Soul Society after all. _

"_Please don't address me as '-sama.'" She gently scolded him, her voice deeper and softer than he had thought, and infinitely sadder than her expression. It distracted him for a bit, before he blinked in shock, a few unintelligible noises of surprise escaping him. _Huh? _She did _not _want to be called with honorifics?_

"_W-well, um, t-then, Rukia-san?" he tried out awkwardly, again flinching slightly for the expected punishment. Such a reaction had been ingrained into him since he had come to associate what pain meant, how he didn't like it, and how to avoid it. _

"_Thank you." The words were uttered softly, her eyes softening as she thanked him. He was startled, naturally, by her response. She hadn't punished him. Rather, she had thanked him. And now she was giving him a sad smile, as if her attempt to express her thanks was still inhibited by her gloom. But it was one of the only thanks he had ever received._

_They didn't speak much as he swept the pitifully small holding, but he didn't feel as tense as he thought that he would be. In fact, he felt at peace around this strange noble girl, who had refused to be called by her appropriate title and had thanked him for it. She didn't watch him sweep, absorbed again in her thoughts, but he found himself aware of everything about her. Her slumped posture, her white robes, her equally droopy hair and her large (blue, or was it perhaps a shade of purple?) eyes, though they were shrunken now in thought. He swept the dust, of which there wasn't much, into a container he had brought with him, and backed his way out of the cell, bowing as he did so. _

"_I-I… will be returning to-tomorrow to clean again," he breathed, and watched as her head turned slowly to him. She nodded, acknowledging his words and perhaps, he thought as he walked down the brightly lit hallway, thanking him a second time. Two thanks in one day, from the same person who happened to be a noble no less. His heart pounded. He frowned in concern. Was he scared still? He didn't think so, for he wanted to go back to her cell… Go back to her cell… He stopped in the middle of the hallway, people sending him curious glances as they hurried to their own destinations. He blinked again. He wanted to go _back_ to her cell. His thudding heart could not be the result of fear. Rather…_

"Thank you."

_It was of _excitement_._

_He returned the next day, somewhat wary, yet expectant. She was in the same position as he had last seen her, though he now noticed a food tray in one of the corners. _

_She had barely eaten anything from it._

_He allowed himself in with the key, and set to sweeping, murmuring a shy greeting and waiting with bated breath. Rukia, who seemed somewhat happier than before, quietly answered back with her own greeting. After several minutes of sweeping, she asked a question._

"_What's your name?"_

_Name. No one had ever asked him for his name with the simple intent to familiarize. His timid heart opened up more. "Y-Yamada Hanatarou." She nodded, and did not introduce herself for there was no need. She was already infamous outside these walls. _

_The same silence settled, but Hanatarou felt a difference. He did not feel tense at all. _

_Hanatarou gradually came to enjoy coming to the 6__th__ Division barracks, his heart lifting at the sight of her, the only highlight in his daily life. Days flew by, and gradually they began to communicate with each other. With every exchange, Rukia's eyes grew brighter, her tone stronger and less sad. Food soon became a scarce sight on each of her trays. The sad thing, Hanatarou mused later, was the thing that she lacked most and was deprived of was simple contact. It didn't have to be anyone specific, just the presence of a member of the same species was comforting enough to most in solitude. _

_He found himself growing bolder in asking her questions, mostly about the real world for they fascinated him so. _

"_Juice box?"_

"_Yes, a juice box, it's a difficult drink. It requires a trick to drink it. It even gave me trouble."_

"_Oh, really? A drink that gives _you_ trouble…" Hanatarou exclaimed in wonder._

"You_," she stated amusedly, "might not be able to drink it even after learning the trick."_

"_What?"_

"He _taught me how to drink it."_

_He. "He" being Ichigo he later learned, was held in high esteem in Rukia's eyes, but not like that of someone superior. It was strange; it was certainly more than equality. Was it perhaps…? Well, he would ruminate over that later. At least these conversations made her happy at times, which outshined how she would get a sad, wistful look after relating a story. _

_Then Byakuya had come. _

"_Do not make me repeat myself again and again. The class one felon, Kuchiki Rukia, shall be confined on death row…and twenty-five days from now, shall be put to death in the Central Court."_

_He had left it at that, with Rukia considerably sadder. Hanatarou realized with a jolt that that had been her brother. How could her brother tell her that with such aloofness, as if he had no care as to how her fate, her life turned out?_

"_Rukia-san, is the person you gave your Death god powers to the one you always talk about…?" he ventured. _

"_A man named Kurosaki Ichigo. He and I only spent two months together, but strangely, he was someone I could trust completely. And yet… And yet…" It was here, her fists clenched in her robes, and her eyes swelling with tears and emotions, that her voice choked up slightly. "Because of me, his fate has been twisted and he has been hurt terribly. No matter what I do, I can never fully atone." Afterwards, she had fallen into a melancholy stupor. Tactful enough not to press her any further on this, he finished his sweeping and left. _

He shook himself out of his ponderings when he saw Iemura from the corner of his eyes. Byakuya stood up, looking at the 3rd seat expectantly.

"She will heal without infections," claimed the blond, his chest puffed in pride, "you may see her now, if you'd li-"

"No need."

"Eh?"

The Kuchiki noble turned around and began walking in a dignified posture to the entrance. He paused, and said "See to it that she returns to her duties," and then walked out. Ever the enigma as always…

During this exchange, Hanatarou had been sidling out of sight, and went to the room he knew her to be in. She was sitting upright on a bed, looking unchanged except for a wrap of white gauze around her left shoulder.

"What happened, Rukia-san?"

"An errant Hollow, nothing big. I was just careless," she stated with a proud, defiant expression, though spots of red shame colored her cheeks. He accepted her response, then sat himself on a guest chair in the room. She raised her eyes curiously at him. "Are you waiting for someone?" she asked. "Oh no," affirmed the 4th squad 7th seat healer, "I'm j-just staying here… t-to keep company, and that's okay, if you don't want company that is, I totally understand t-that you might prefer other company, and-" he babbled, nervousness welling up inside him. She eyed him strangely.

"There's nothing wrong with your company. You're a friend," she stated in a matter-of-fact tone.

The young male was startled. _Friend?_ He thought back to their time in the jail, their conversations, and his stance against Byakuya with Ganju for Rukia…

A smile spread across his face.

Yes, he didn't mind being friends with someone like her. Someone like Kuchiki Rukia.

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><p><strong>Super-long-author-note:<strong> Oh gosh~! I got my first review on this fic! Squee~! o I'm SUPER DUPER HAPPY. I'll reply as best as I can here!

First Reviewer: (I dunno if you want your name on this or not, even if your review shows the name you inputted, but I'll just keep it anonymous for security concerns. Haha, thanks for your effort! It wasn't double. And I'm just so _happy_ that somebody reviewed that I'll give a free oneshot to you, and leave the other standing for the next person (though I doubt anyone's eager for one from me, seeing as I just got around to posting my fics). But seriously, you made my day! Yes, Rukia has interacted, however small, with many characters, and her contrasting personality sides makes her interesting. She's not a typical girl you see in manga and I like her character very much. She has a very rich and interesting past, so there's a lot of potential for topics about her. I'm not sure if I get the hang of the character's viewpoints, even if they are a type of removed-third-person view, but I'm glad you liked this one! I know that too, I've seen a lot like mine. That's a good point, thanks for the advice. That definitely would strengthen the overall fic. I'm just testing waters as of now. Ehehe, Ichiruki FTW~ Thanks for your well wishes! If you have an account, please sign in and let me know your preferences for the oneshot! If you don't have an account, please make one! It takes less than 20 minutes of your life, and you're not obligated to write any stories! I'd love to talk more personally! Thanks so much!

And another note, _yes_, the free oneshot is still up for grabs, and see the last chapter's author's note if you don't get what I'm talking about. Remember that while I love reviews, I'm not going to nag you guys for one. And another thing, I'm just BLOWN AWAY by how many visitors my fics have garnered altogether. All my account shows me is the number of people from a country, and nothing else, and I'm astounded at the variety of people reading this. I hope I reach out to all of you through my fics! Welcome! I had a not-so-good day, but seeing the stats and reviews and alerts and favorites just made my day. I'm flabbergasted in a good way.

I've decided to also give a little background info about each character's viewpoint, so as to transition a bit more smoothly. Also, I'm going to try shifting styles, like the different styles for the first two. I'll reuse a style today, but I'll think of more as I go along. I'm gonna mix it up with important and not-so-important characters as I go on. I'll also add some scenes of my own making not seen in the manga. I honestly can't see how far I'm going to go with this. Seeing such positive reactions has inspired me to keep writing. We'll see… This is actually a rather important viewpoint, Hanatarou's, because I think he has been deeply affected by his interactions with Rukia. A lot of people don't find him interesting, but please give this a try. I kinda based this off of how it happened in the manga and anime and some scenes of my own imagination, sorry for any confusions.

Speaking of giving a try, please consider **reading my author notes and visiting my profile**. My author notes usually have important stuff so stay tuned. And for those of you who are growing sick of this, I'm kinda sorry. Another author that I can't remember the name of said not to be afraid to write long author notes. I'm rather talkative, so I took to this ideal eagerly, and here's the result! If you'd like shorter author notes, I ask that any reviewers **please create accounts or sign in** to review, so I can private message with you. Anonymous reviews are Ok, but I usually type more in a private message. Also, I'm updating a lot for now since I'm so hyped, but I have limited time, so please be patient. Thanks and love to those who set me on alert. I'll try not to keep you guys hanging!

Some other things I'll mention here. I'm a big supporter of correct mechanics (spelling, punctuation, capitalization). If you see any mistakes in mechanics or grammar in my works, feel free to notify me. I won't get mad, in fact, I'd be glad if someone would help. I want to learn from my mistakes, and it's better if someone else points it out for you.

I'm not review-hungry, so I won't nag you guys for any. But I'd like to voice the opinions I think most authors on this site have: We don't always want reviews saying "Update, please!" or "That was sexy!", etc. Most of us want to know how we did, where we can improve on, and what elements to keep and expand upon. A lot of the authors' goals on this site are to have fun sharing and reading stories. So please, the next time you are moved or impressed enough to write a review, write a little bit more, no matter how short, like: "You have good humor!" It makes a lot of positive difference. :)

Before this review gets any longer, I'll end it. **Please check my profile for more info.** I might set up a poll in the near future.


	4. Hitsugaya Toshiro

**Not-so-long-author-note:** Hey! This is the fourth chapter of **When It's Rukia**! I'll say more in the author note below, **SO PLEASE READ THE AUTHOR NOTE BELOW.**

This is rated **T** for a brief reference to alcohol.

**Warning: Possible spoilers**

* * *

><p><strong>When It's Rukia – Hitsugaya Toshiro<strong>

Hitsugaya thought that the people who said he and Kuchiki Rukia shared a lot in common were right about the wrong things. True, he and Kuchiki Rukia shared many similar traits, but that was only surface-deep, a shallow comparison and observation. Nothing more.

For example, he had overheard just last week from his lower seated-officers about Soul Society's two most famous ice Zanpaktou, Rukia's Sode no Shirayuki, and his, Hyorinmaru. There was already something wrong with the statement, he had thought at the time, and that was the fact that their Zanpaktou were not exactly the same element. True, he had glimpsed on the rare occasions he was free and passing by her training grounds that Kuchiki could use a freezing technique with _Some no mai – Tsukishiro_, and deal hefty damage by turning a rush of snow into ice: _Tsugi no mai – Hakuren_. She also was able to freeze small objects around her occasionally, though it still seemed to be not under her full control. In conclusion, her Zanpaktou was a mix between both elements, interchanging between snow and ice as needed, and never quite one element more than the other.

_His_, however, was the strongest ice Zanpaktou, and there was no arrogance in stating that. After all, who could who hope to endure against the mighty coldness of Hyorinmaru, the ice dragon? The very entity that could control the weather and one of the eldest Zanpaktou spirits of the elements was also difficult to obtain, much less tame. Hyorinmaru had refused to be tied down to anyone. Until Hitsugaya Toshiro had happened.

People also noticed their like statures. Hitsugaya was one _very_ unhappy captain after he heard that from the some crude and drunk 11th Division members. Well, it seemed the 4th Division would be working overtime again, this time from a sudden influx of _frostbitten_ saps. He would compensate them, of course, ahem. Back to heights.

Like the comment about their Zanpaktou, he knew (no matter how much his pride detested to admit it) that they were, by terms of height, the runt of the Gotei 13, for it was rare to find any members, even freshly-academy-graduated officers, shorter than they. But Hitsugaya couldn't fathom how people couldn't see that despite their similar heights, they had clearly different builds.

Kuchiki Rukia, had it not been for her shady, dusty, distinctly _Rukongai_ background, would have made a fine noble in appearance, to heck with her diminutive stature. She had strong and lustrous hair, a quality many nobles could not help but envy, despite her slightly childish and "unkempt" hairstyle. She also had a fair skin tone, not too pale and not too dark like that of sunburns. And even with her rough hands, callous from decades of gripping Sode no Shirayuki in battle, she had a soft and graceful look about her. These sought-after natural elements of beauty complemented her petite yet toned body, honed from years of determined practice, but limited by few missions. Speaking of limited missions, Hitsugaya briefly wondered when and whether Byakuya would release Rukia to more dangerous missions. Perhaps it was his own form of silent protectiveness, but it was a waste to let someone who was obviously dedicated to her job be stuck forever as an anomaly: someone with skills equal to that of most high-ranking seat officers, yet not even among the lowest seated-officer ranks in name.

Hitsugaya ran his hands through his snow-white hair, mussing it in the back a little. His soft, carefully styled white hair was one of his most eye-catching features, after one got over the shock that such a young _kid_ could be a captain. A common conversation with new 10th Division members always devolved into something a little more formal than a heated argument, with Hitsugaya trying to valiantly convince said members that _yes_, he was their new captain, _no_, he had _not_ stolen the 10th Division haori from the "real" captain, and that he would discharge the members and reassign them to a new division effective immediately if they continued to doubt his captaincy. Another of his striking features included his toned, borderline muscular body, despite his young age, and his slightly tanned skin color, which oddly contrasted against his hair and his eyes nicely.

Eyes.

Eyes were expressive, and "windows to the soul", or whatever it was that humans said. There was certainly no denying that eyes held a certain spiritual importance to all races, though he doubted this was true in the case of Hollows. Nasty beings they were, that only thought of satisfying their hunger from one day to the next, and grew more troublesome the longer one left them alone. But it was a duty of a Shinigami, especially a captain, to purify them so that they could enter Soul Society. Or you could always transfer your powers over to a defenseless human, like Kuchiki Rukia had done to Kurosaki Ichigo, and let them help out. Sometimes, it amazed him how much of a knack the petite warrior had for stirring up controversy and trouble, when she clearly did not need any more on her plate.

He was getting off track again.

He sighed, and stretched in his stiff office chair, and cast his gaze over his office. The bookshelves were neatly arranged and dusted, and the plants were all watered. The wooden floor had been waxed, his shoji doors repaired, and the walls repainted a dull light gray color. His lieutenant had pitched a fuss over the "boring" color he had picked; he was only trying to be professional and simple. His eyes twitched slightly as they passed over the messy pile of paperwork that had become a common sight on his vice-captain's desk, Matsumoto Rangiku's. He caught sight of his reflection off of one of her sake battles, sitting blatantly out in the open, as if it were mocking him for his subordinate's lazy conduct. He would have scowled, but he had caught the reflection of his teal eyes from the glaze on the traditional bottle. He glanced toward a small mirror on his desk, and observed himself.

His wide eyes, framed with some small eyelashes, blinked back at him. As he studied himself, he supposed if his eyes revealed anything, it revealed the maturity borne of his years trying to become a captain, despite his age, appearance, and apparent lack of experience. But he had been a quick, determined, talented officer. Too talented to lump together with the ordinary Gotei 13 members. As he shot up rapidly through the ranks of the Court Division Squads, he had had to discard childish actions and behaviors in public and adopt a more mature poise, fitting of the authority of a captain. But he had never eradicated them. Just like Kuchiki Rukia had.

After the first few years of his captaincy, he began to cross paths with Kuchiki Byakuya with increasing frequency, which he didn't mind. Byakuya either valued silence, or did not deign to talk to him as a fellow captain, on account of his lack of experience, so no words passed between them anyways. Then the scandal had come, about Rukia's adoption into the Kuchiki clan.

How much like Byakuya's late wife, Hisana, she looked, had been his and many others' thoughts.

The rumors and tabloid raged like nothing else, determined to extort the truth from the normally squeaky clean Kuchiki head. Other than that, not much of interest happened in Seireitei, so as all scandals eventually did, it died down, but he could still see people today sneaking curious glances at the formerly subdued and newly instated-Kuchiki girl. But she didn't stay subdued for long.

The insufferable, but likeable Shiba Kaien had managed to kick her back to her old vigor, and it interested Toshiro slightly to see her more lively than before, and know that that had been her personality, before the expectations of the Kuchiki House had all but smothered it. When he first saw her, he saw a void in her eyes. With Shiba Kaien, a spark grew in her eyes.

Then the unfortunate events of the 13th Division had happened, culminating in Kaien's death in no other hand but hers, and the void in her eyes seemed even emptier, if such a thing was possible. Despite the horrors he had already witnessed during his time as a Shinigami captain, it had become increasingly harder each day to see her lackluster gaze.

With support from the 13th Division, she grew again, though some part of her spunk had seemingly disappeared forever, leaving behind a shadow of her former loud and expressive personality. All that had been left behind was something _functional_, some fabrication of a personality that simply let her work through the day and interact with others to a satisfactory level _without breaking her_. She was far more damaged than most saw her as, he had thought. Something of hers had died with Kaien, as if he had robbed her of the fiery attitude and refreshing recklessness she had previously touted.

Then entered Kurosaki Ichigo.

It was so stunning at first to see his resemblance to the 13th Division's former lieutenant that Toshiro became convinced for some time that Ichigo was a reincarnation, or a lucky find of a substitute that Rukia had chanced upon. But then again, Kuchiki Rukia wasn't like that. She had been broken, but she would never have subjected a human to such a fate for her own whims, or her own mental and emotional sanity. And this instinctual knowledge of her led him to believe that she was also stronger than most credited her for.

He noticed that when she had returned from the Human World in disgrace and under arrest, something was different about her. It wasn't until a couple of filed papers and cups of tea later that he had understood.

Her eyes. No longer did their flames- no, not even flames, a mockery of flames- waver. Instead, even with the pressure of her confinement and punishment, her disgrace as an officer and Shinigami, (and her eyes, sad for the fate of another instead of her own) her eyes gained back their spark again, but stronger than ever before, even before the tutelage of Kaien.

Her violet eyes had _roared_ with fire, with _life_, for the first time in a century and some decades.

_Thunk._

He absentmindedly thanked the officer who delivered the steaming cup of green tea to his desk, and carefully lifted it to his lips, the ceramic bumpy under his rough fingers.

Rough fingers.

He deftly detached one of his hands from the cup and examined them. Blisters, sores, healing cuts and scars littered his hand, far too many normally for someone of his age, but nothing new and nothing special for a captain. His work demanded such sacrifices after all, as did any low-ranking Shinigami. As did Rukia's.

He leaned back in his chair and mulled over his introspective discoveries. There were probably more similarities between him and Kuchiki Rukia than he had thought, though they were a bit more deeper than the casual observation from someone. Their hands that both bore the patience, determination, and sacrifices they made for humans and for their souls in the never-ending battle against Hollows, and their mixes of naïve and mature expressions, contained within their almost childishly-large eyes.

"Excuse me! Reporting in from the 13th Division, on behalf of Ukitake-taicho!" cried a strained voice. He set down his cup and sat up straighter in his chair.

"Enter," he called out, and noticed the bottom of his shoji door trembled for a bit, before a small, delicate foot nudged it aside from outside. He followed the lines of the Shinigami robe up before his eyes rested on what appeared to be a Shinigami officer with the bottom body half of one, and an absolutely humungous candy basket for the upper half of the body. His eyes twitched at the loud, obnoxious colors of the wrapped candy, which seemed to be animal-themed. The bright, glaring yellow shade of the basket didn't help much either.

The poor, unfortunate soul tottered toward the center of the office, a bit unsteady on the feet, before depositing the basket on the floor with a soft _whump_. The small figure straightened up, and somehow, he wasn't surprised to find himself staring into violet orbs.

"Kuchiki," he acknowledged. As he also expected, she bowed, minding the rules of courtesy even before someone close to her age, and replied, "Hitsugaya-taicho."

As she straightened up, he sighed in exasperation, glancing at the basket. Ukitake's gestures obviously held good will, but sending things like these only served to remind him of his age compared to the other, much older captains. In fact, such gifts were better served to satiating Kusajishi Yachiru's insatiable appetite for sweets. He caught in the corner of his eye a set of wringing hands after a moment. Kuchiki Rukia's hands.

"What is it?" he asked, wondering as to why she suddenly jumped and let out a small yelp of embarrassment, her face flushing and her face pinched into a comical distressed expression.

"U-um, it's just…Hitsugaya-taicho…" she stuttered, trying to marshal her thoughts and words, before straightening herself up and taking a deep breath. One of the things he liked about her was that she understood when to be firm and concise with what she had to do, and to not dally.

"It seemed that Hitsugaya-taicho does not like sweets, so I was wondering… if you would let me take some off your hands for you…" He watched her eyes flick and glance longingly towards something in the basket and flicked his eyes in the same direction, which alighted upon an odd structure of two white sticks sticking out of the plethora of candy, before his mind supplied him with the information as to what it was.

"Bunnies?" he asked, slightly amused. Her childish personality was slipping out, it seemed. She nodded jerkily, eyes hopeful, and he waved his hand, neither condescending nor indifferent. "Take as much as you want," he mumbled, reaching for his cup of tea again, which had cooled down considerably. "Thank you," came her reply and he looked up over his cup's rim to see her stuffing as much rabbit-themed candy into her eyes, even depositing some in her sleeves. She bowed comically low as much as she could with all the candy on her (what a spectacle would that be to Kuchiki Byakuya, the proud Kuchiki who would never allow his Kuchiki sister to be caught in such an act of subservience, no matter that it was a captain). As she waddled out and closed the door behind her, he chuckled silently to himself.

And here was a gaping difference between their interests. To think that she had somehow managed to develop such an interest in cute bunnies under _the _cold Kuchiki Byakuya's roofs…

The shoji doors suddenly banged open again, announcing the arrival of his busty lieutenant.

"Yahoo! Hitsugaya-tai- … Wow! Look at all the candy! Are you trying to grow up with sugar, taicho?"

"Shut up!"

* * *

><p><strong>Super-long-author-note:<strong> Hey guys, as usual, thanks so much for all the visitors and hits to my stories! While I'd love to hear from you guys by review or messaging, your interest in my fic has made me quite happy!

**PLEASE READ THIS. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT.** I believe I owe you guys an explanation. After a couple of days of bam-bam-bam updates, I suddenly stopped for about a week. Why is that? I actually had about a third of this chapter done after I updated the latest chapter of my fics, but I contracted pneumonia. Pneumonia is kind of a lung infection, and usually found in people aged 65 or older. As I've said on my **profile page**, I'm not going to give personal information away, but I'll let you know that at my age, having pneumonia is uncommon, and usually not so good. This was actually my 8th time contracting this, and I'm telling the truth here. Feel free to believe me or not. So I went to the ER when it got pretty bad, and ended up recovering as best as I could. I felt bad about leaving you guys hanging, but I also knew I had to recover quicker so I could then update.

When I finally did recover, I also realized that I may have rushed my fics a bit. I wanted to take some time re-evaluating how they were going to end, and what mood, characters, and events were going to be in them. Boy, for **It Takes Two to Make a Heart**, my other fic, I spent a _long_ time revising the plot. Don't worry though, I'm still going to update it. I have to thank all the people who reviewed, who took the time to leave a comment or two, even if it was asking for more updates and asking what was going to happen next. I don't really mind, because when I first started out with writing on this site, I didn't expect to get any. That I got reviews, _and_ alerts and favorites made me beyond happy, and determined to recover faster. Anyways, since I'm going to be more careful and thoughtful with my stories' plots, updates will be farther apart. Also, I have exams coming up, as I'm sure many of you do, so I have to prepare for them (based on this, by the way, I could be a college student, or a precocious 3rd grader; I'm not going to specify, haha). Please be patient with me as you've been, and thank you so much for your support up until now!

I mentioned this on **It Takes Two to Make a Heart**, and I'll mention it here. It's important to read my author notes because I usually have important info. For anonymous reviewers (please sign in if you have an account or make one; usually doesn't take long, and you don't have to write stories), I might put a short reply in an author note. I also give update statuses and news. So I'll try an experiment. For the first person who reviews with (Hirako Shinji - ijnihS okariH), they will get a short oneshot (one chapter) from me about the Bleach universe, preferably a pairing. You can send me the specifics, or give me free reign. Either is fine. I'll post the winner in the next chapter, and message that person. Please be patient, as I have little time in my hands.

This chapter is about a not-so-important character, Toshiro, considering how little he actually is present in Rukia's life in the manga. In the anime… that's a different story. But I'm trying to go mostly with the manga. I kept this simple, and no flashbacks, because flashbacks get tiring if there's no or little substance to them. And I'm still tired from pneumonia…

Don't expect any new chapters tomorrow. Even authors need their breaks, hehe. For those that are starving for **It Takes Two to Make a Heart**, rest assured, even if it takes a while, I will return with a long chapter. I still need to work out some plot kinks though.

Some other things I'll mention here. I'm a big supporter of correct mechanics (spelling, punctuation, capitalization). If you see any mistakes in mechanics or grammar in my works, feel free to notify me. I won't get mad, in fact, I'd be glad if someone would help. I want to learn from my mistakes, and it's better if someone else points it out for you.

I'm not review-hungry, so I won't nag you guys for any. But I'd like to voice the opinions I think most authors on this site have: We don't always want reviews saying "Update, please!" or "That was sexy!", etc. Most of us want to know how we did, where we can improve on, and what elements to keep and expand upon. A lot of the authors' goals on this site is to have fun sharing and reading stories. So please, the next time you are moved or impressed enough to write a review, write a little bit more, no matter how short, like: "You have good humor!" It makes a lot of positive difference. :)

Before this review gets any longer, I'll end it. Please check my profile for more info. I might set up a poll in the near future.


	5. Kurosaki Ichigo

**Not-so-long-author-note:** Hey! This is the 4th chapter for When It's Rukia. I'll say more in the author note below, **SO PLEASE READ THE AUTHOR NOTE BELOW.**

This is rated **T** for mild language.

**Warning: Possible spoilers**

* * *

><p><strong>When It's Rukia – Kurosaki Ichigo<strong>

Despite his Shinigami partner's woeful knowledge of Humans and their customs, she was understanding, agreeable and curious about them, making it easy to educate her. Not to say that she didn't have her own questions and opinions, but she rarely looked down on them, having been human herself at one distant point in time, though she held no memory of her time as one. It was an errant thought that had Ichigo curious now and then.

Surely, like other Shinigami, Rukia hadn't just… "poofed" into being. There had to have been a more mortal starting point along the line for them. Shinigami didn't just pop into existence like Rukia had popped into his life the night she had saved him and his family.

He looked up from his history textbook, which was already taking its toll on his hands, wrists, and arms that supported it above his head. His head, wreathed in short and fiery orange hair, was nestled in his pillow, with his powerful and toned body that followed it sinking into the mattress of his bed. A quick glance over to his open closet presented to him the image of one short Kuchiki Rukia, tucked in the small space between the wall and sliding door. She was perched on spare mattresses and blankets, poring over the latest issue of her favorite manga, occasionally flipping the pages with a thoughtful look, and swinging her legs absentmindedly. It was a typical scene, but he could not help but feel something – he refused to call it relief – trickle into his chest area.

It had been over a year since he had last seen her after all.

And upon closer examination, the once all-too-familiar scene was not too typical anymore. One of the most noticeable differences was her hair, which was shorter and swung more freely than her previous hairstyle. Privately, he thought this hairstyle suited her more. It was short like her, though he would never say this out loud for the risk of a bruised shin. In addition to her hair, she had also decided to stick with donning the standard Shinigami attire, a black hakama with a simple white sash which fluttered this way and that with each swing of her legs. Then his eyes slid to her face.

He didn't know much about the aging process of Shinigami, but he knew they did grow to some extent, though at a much slower pace than humans. However, he could see signs of maturity on her, ones that did not have to rely on a changed facial structure.

The new addition of the 13th Division armband that sat snugly and proudly on her upper left arm announced her progress in skills and rank, and declared its owner as the rightful holder of the title of the 13th Division Vice-captain of the Gotei 13. Her eyes bespoke of gained wisdom and experience, and the delicate and slender white gloves laid carefully off to the side, though unforgotten, showcased her increased dignity and pride.

How she had grown.

His eyes latched onto the gloves, thinking of the hands that they had snugly fit, the same hands that had righted things again in a way things of this mortal world couldn't…

_Rain. Never-ceasing, unending, relentless rain. It poured over his numb body, but then how could it be numb, when his heart was splintering and the slash wound flared and tinged with pain sporadically? A wound, given by none other than the one person he thought he could trust to help him, to help regain his ability to protect, and to give him a chance, no matter how slim, to see _her_ again. The deeper pain didn't hurt like a lover scorned, or the recognition of failure, but like that of the deepest betrayal. He had put his life in this man's hands, had slaved under the instructions and advice of this stranger, and damn _believed in_ Ginjo, (and he even went as far as to place trust in him) to help him achieve Fullbring and restore his former powers. _

_Now that same man that had given him the power to protect had robbed him of it, walking away with his decoy, Tsukishima. Bastard Tsukishima may be for messing with his friends and family, but Ginjo took the cake for the biggest bastard of them all in this situation. _

"_Noooooooooooooo!"_

_He didn't roar, didn't yell, didn't scream as was his wont, as was his usual when in battle and when agitated. He cried, long and drawn-out, as he had done the night _she_ had left to protect him from Soul Society. The act strained his torn muscles, exacerbating his wound, but he couldn't care less. Just as he couldn't care less about the look of pity that the injured and downed Uryu gave him, though he was remorseful at his friend's plight, who had tried to help him. It was a miracle that he could even make him out through the film of tears obscuring his vision. All the despair, the secret doubts and fears about the troubles his family and friends went through and unleashed itself in that one cry, leaving him feeling empty._

_Feeling empty was better than being full to bursting of despair._

"…_Is he crying? I feel so horrible," mocked Tsukishima, watching Ichigo with fake pity. Ginjo, by this time, had already turned around and started walking away from the grief-ridden scene. Indifferent. Cold. _

"_Let him cry. We've no use for him anymore," he stated callously. "It's unlikely… we will ever meet him again."_

_Somehow, Ichigo managed to find his forgotten voice (how strange that it had not disappeared under the onslaught of grief and horror) and called, "…Give it back…!" Ginjo stopped, his coat darkening under the rain and little droplets that ran down his hair before collecting on his shoes and jacket. _

"_Give it back, Ginjo… Give my power back!"_

"…_What…? You're joking. It's power that _I_ gave back to you. It belongs to _me_!" Ichigo breath caught at this. His eyes widened even further, though such a feat would have been impossible in any other case. But more importantly, what was this man saying?_

_He thought of his friends and his boss, Keigo, Mizuiro, Tatsuki, Ikumi-san, Chad, Inoue. His family… Karin, Yuzu… _

_He couldn't protect anyone…_

"_I'm sparing your life even though you're useless now. The least you could do is thank me."_

_Sparing his life… _

"_Ginjo…"_

Useless.

"_GINJO!" he roared, leaping to his feet in a sudden rush of energy and lunging for the retreating, leather-clad back. Only to be pierced by a sword of light. His pupils wavered in his eyeballs, before swiveling around to focus on the source behind him. Wrong, he off—handedly noted, _sources.

_As he focused on his long-missing father, Urahara Kisuke finished pulling off the cape of what appeared to be invisibility off of him and Kurosaki Isshin. One solemn Isshin and Urahara, that is. _

"…_Dad…? Ura…hara…san…?" He couldn't recognize his voice. It was pitiful, quavering. It was the voice of a child, who had lost everything before his eyes, who couldn't believe that there was even greater despair to come on top of this. _

_It was weak._

_Had his dad and mentor come to steal from him too? They were too late though, there was nothing worth stealing from him. Perhaps they had come simply for his life? He mused on this morbidly, before a trembling hand lifted itself to clutch at the blade that protruded from his chest. His fingers curled around the blade, which now shook in time with his own quaking hands. _

_Another bond, lost. _

"…_So that's it… That is it, then…?" he mumbled, wearily, resignedly, and with no hope at all flecking his tone. His head that he had lowered lifted enough for his eyes to catch his father's unusually somber gaze. Again, something tickled his eyes, and the feeling was so unfamiliar, he almost slackened his grip in shock. _

_Tears. Since when had he last cried? He couldn't remember, it could have been when he had awoken to his mother's mangled body that rainy day, it could have been when _she_ had left to protect him, he couldn't remember. And it wouldn't matter soon anyways, not when he was going to be robbed of everything. _

"_Dad…" he near whimpered, "you too…?" His voice choked up, hiccups and sobs threatening to tear themselves from his throat. "That's… how it is…?"_

_His father continued to remain serious, but then again, it would have been weird if he weren't in this situation. What was Ichigo hoping for? For the return of his bright, silly, easy-to-abuse father? His happy-go-lucky fool of a father? But this character did not appear, overshadowed by something heavy and sad in Isshin's eyes. "…You idiot. It wasn't me who stabbed you," his father chastised, unusually gentle compared to his usual blunt comments. "Look closely."_

_Look? Look at where, at what, at who? Look where, when he had lost sight of all things precious and dear to him? _

"_You should be able to see their form by now."_

_Their? A person? People? But who…?_

"_Just who…is holding that sword!"_

_His eyes continued to dart around the space surrounding Isshin and Urahara, not comprehending. Then his eyes caught something. And all breath whooshed out of him._

He continued to stare at her, thought whether it was the girl in his closet or the girl in that slow, seemingly-fantasy world, he wasn't sure.

Things had sort of just become a blur after that. The restoration of his powers, the fight between the Fullbringers, the arrival of Byakuya, Toshiro, Ikkaku, Renji and Zaraki, _the return of Rukia_. It almost seemed too good to be true. He couldn't find it in himself to be annoyed at Byakuya and Toshiro's entrance, the cold pricks they were in his memories of them, nor could he find exasperation before Zaraki and Ikkaku's bloodlust. He was glad to see Renji who looked stronger yet again, the monster.

But Rukia's return had done many things that any Shinigami's return could have not. Just as her spontaneous, uncalled for, and unwelcomed intrusion into his life that night, that had simply started with a girl walking through his bedroom wall, had done something for him that could not, and would not be able to be replicated by anyone else. She was no cheerful sun; she was in fact one annoying short Shinigami girl who really annoyed him at times. But she was also the one who had kicked him back into shape emotionally and mentally when he couldn't relate to anyone else, had give him the power to protect and had taught him how to forgive himself, for that rainy day that had ended with his dead mother, and started his rain and nightmares.

She was no sun, but what else could he call her when she was the only one who had been able to stop his rainy downpour? No, he mused, still staring blankly ahead at Rukia, she was more like the moon, which seemed to fit with her personality and Zanpaktou fittingly. He didn't think her sword's ice and snow could survive against the sun after all, even if it was created unnaturally by her sword and soul power.

She also resembled the moon, with her cold and unfriendly-looking exterior, but with a pure white aura and personality about her, that lit up everything for others to see at night. It was no sun, but her "light" was enough to end his rain, and that was all that mattered, as far as Ichigo and Zangetsu were concerned.

His lips smirked and grimaced in turns as he dredged up the memories of that night. Well, he couldn't really "dredge" them up, because they were and would be one of his clearest and most pre- ahem, _just_ clearest memories. Memories with their good and bad points, hence his lips' complicated dance.

He smirked again as he looked up to her. Rukia, feeling his gaze, looked up into his eyes curiously from across the room.

"Spit it out Ichigo, what is it?" And that was also something about her that hadn't changed. She always liked to be blunt and head on about things. It was a good quality, one facet of her personality that wasn't irritating or exasperating, and easy to relate to. He had the same trait after all.

His eyes drifted to Sode no Shirayuki, gazed contemplatively and didn't answer. She caught his gaze, and her own eyes drifted down to his line of sight. "What about my sword, Ichigo?"

_Gimme…_

"…the sword, Shinigami."

She started in surprise, and stared at him, her own memories, her own experiences on that night welling up. Her lips parted, and a corner of her mouth curled into a wry smirk, as if she was in on a secret just between them.

_I'm not "Shinigami"…_

That night, when the only conscious souls in front of one little house, one little street… Fought in their own ways, desperately and head-on…

"I'm Kuchiki Rukia."

Who contributed her power, with the death bell already tolling in the back of her head, knowing that for one annoying, fifteen-year old Karakura high school student…

_I'm…_

Despite the imminent death sentence for her felony, the transfer of Shinigami powers to a human, though said human was clearly beyond normal…

"…Kurosaki Ichigo."

A flash, a surge of transferring powers and one purified Hollow later, had been their beginning, and would always be. No amount of power could change that. In the present, they both smiled at each other in their own unique ways, Rukia with an admonishment of "baka" and a small grin, and Ichigo with a scowl that held no actual ire and some snappy retorts that held no conviction.

Yes, he thought, truth be told, their story had started out simply with two stupid and reckless souls, in front of his house, trying to save everyone with a kind of innocent recklessness; it had survived and toughed out to reach its current chapter right now in his room. And there would surely be many more chapters to come. He would go through everything that had happened for his life to now have gained a new addition in the form of one cheeky Shinigami. He refused to say that he wanted her in his life, wanted her to stay, because it was too superficial.

He needed her.

He needed her, just as much as she had needed him to help her with Hollow missions when she did not have powers, to meet just one more time to properly apologize and atone for dragging him into the world of Shinigami, to help her race (for no matter how outwardly human she seemed to be, she was always and distinctly a Shinigami) in a war against one of the most deadliest of villain masterminds, and to keep her own personal rain at bay, though he was no childhood friend, no brother, no mentor, no acquaintance, but simply an utter _stranger_ that she had complete confidence in, a stranger she had learned to count on in the mere span of two months.

He had come to terms with this fact when she had left for Soul Society, and left him in tatters for those hellish seventeen months. He dreamed of their past memories, dreamed of what could've been, and had shut his closet door, unable to stare at it without becoming remorseful, wistful and what he called "pathetically sad". He had left so much unsaid that he found himself rethinking his thoughts over, like a rehearsal, but when she had come back, he was so dumbstruck, so surprised, so grateful that all his organized thoughts had fled his brain like lesser Hollows did before his Zanpaktou, Zangetsu.

It had hurt, that one of his… he didn't know what to call her frankly. She wasn't his girlfriend or lover, nor was she simply a friend. She was certainly a comrade, a _nakama_, but an indescribable type of comrade, and she simply remained in his life a special category of her own. No matter what she was exactly, it had hurt that he couldn't trade verbal blows with someone that wasn't annoyingly feisty in a manner like Keigo, who could be mature and wise, whose fascination with the Human World made it entertaining to watch her, and could always, without fail, kick him back into shape and support and believe in him, even if the whole damn world pointed fingers at him and proclaimed his opnions, hell, his existence, wrong.

He sometimes couldn't believe that she was still in front of him. He hadn't brought up the silent questions that still hung in the air between them, like a poisonous fog. _When are you going back? Will you ever return back, if that time came?_

No, he shook his head. He shouldn't dwell on that. What mattered was that he could protect once again, and that he had one of his most important comrades back in his life again, which warranted some hefty verbal lashings, ahem, to make up for her absence.

Before he had even gotten out his first snide remark, Rukia lifted her head again to warmly say, "I'm glad to be back in this small closet." _I'm glad to see this room and you again. _

"Che, it shouldn't be that small. It's not like you've grown at all in seventeen months." _I missed you._

"Say that again!"

He let himself relax into one of their verbal wars again, warm, secure, and comfortable in his room, his history textbook long forgotten in a corner of his bed. The day was sunny out, with not a chance of rain, physically or mentally, and a promise of a day together with his friends, family, and Rukia.

And he wouldn't have had it any other way.

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><p><strong>Super-long-author-note:<strong> Hey guys, as usual, thanks so much for all the visitors and hits to my stories! While I'd love to hear from you guys by review or messaging, your interest in my fics has made me quite happy!

**PLEASE READ THIS. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT.** I believe I owe you guys another explanation. These past few weeks have been crappy for me, and probably for those who were eagerly awaiting this story. I know after 2-3 years reading fanfics on this site, and I knew **It Takes Two to Make a Heart**, compared to **When It's Rukia**, would garner more interest. So for the people who hold interest in **When It's Rukia**, I apologize for the super-late update to this fic. I mentioned in the latest chapter of **When It's Rukia** that I contracted pneumonia, a type of lung infection, for the 8th or 9th time. As many of you might have guessed, I'm still not a senior, so to have contracted it this many times isn't good. After an ER visit, I updated this fic's 4th chapter, and then was rushed to the hospital not long after for something else. Doctors said it could be a cancerous tumor, but they aren't sure. They noticed it in my ER visit. I'm not sure what this spells, but I hope to continue to have the strength to provide happiness in reading interesting or good stories for you all, visitors, reviewers, and those who set me or my fics as a favorite or on alert. I thank all of you guys. You guys make me so happy with your support so far.

When I finally did recover and return, I also realized that I may have rushed my fics a bit. I wanted to take some time re-evaluating how they were going to end, and what mood, characters, and events were going to be in them. Boy, for **It Takes Two to Make a Heart**, I spent a _long_ time revising the plot. Don't worry though; I'm still going to update it. I have to thank all the people who reviewed, who took the time to leave a comment or two, even if it was asking for more updates and asking what was going to happen next. I don't really mind, because when I first started out with writing on this site, I didn't expect to get any. That I got reviews, _and_ alerts and favorites made me beyond happy, and determined to recover faster. Anyways, since I'm going to be more careful and thoughtful with my stories' plots, updates will be farther apart. Also, I have school. Please be patient with me as you've been, and thank you so much for your support up until now!

I mentioned this on **It Takes Two to Make a Heart**, and I'll mention it here. It's important to read my author notes because I usually have important info. For anonymous reviewers (please sign in if you have an account or make one; usually doesn't take long, and you don't have to write stories), I might put a short reply in an author note. I also give update statuses and news.

**ALSO IMPORTANT:** So I tried an experiment recently, to see if people really bother to read my author notes. I said in multiple author notes that the first person who reviews with (Hirako Shinji - ijnihS okariH), will get a short oneshot (one chapter) from me about the Bleach universe, preferably a pairing. They could send me the specifics, or give me free reign. Either was fine. I also said that I'd post the winner in the next chapter, and message that person. Well, I got a review for **When It's Rukia**, and someone did post my secret message. **xombi316**, you are the rightful winner of my free oneshot, so I offer my congratulations and thanks for reading. Please message me or tell me in a review your preferences so I can get started. Please give me time as well; I definitely won't forget it though. Also, **Anya**, your oneshot will be posted on Sunday at the absolute latest. Thanks for your patience and reviews. With this, the "contest" has ended.

**Caution: Spoilers; read at your own risk. **So… I finally decided to do Ichigo. His isn't super introspective because I already covered a lot about Rukia in previous chapters. Instead of focusing on her Shinigami past solely, I'd like to focus a little more on her progress since her return in the Lost Agent Shinigami Arc and her impact on his life. As the manga hasn't mentioned Rukia as of yet again, this is set in some unfocused time after the whole Fullbringer battle. Also, as I'm sure you know if you've been reading previous chapters of this fic, I also add in a little introspection about the character, even as they're describing Rukia in their own way. It's to help tie her role and relationship together with the different people. I'm definitely doing multiple chapters from the same people, so expect another Ichigo chapter in the future. Also, once I get enough reviewers, I may put this fic on hold and focus on **It Takes Two to Make a Heart**, and decide by a poll. I'm sorry to fans of **When It's Rukia**, but I encourage you to try other author's fics as well. There are some better than mine out there. This site is a big ocean with a lot of big fish. Thanks for your understanding.

Don't expect any new chapters tomorrow. Even authors need their breaks, hehe. For those that are starving for **It Takes Two to Make a Heart**, rest assured, even if it takes a while, I will update it.

Some other things I'll mention here. I'm a big supporter of correct mechanics (spelling, punctuation, capitalization). If you see any mistakes in mechanics or grammar in my works, feel free to notify me. I won't get mad, in fact, I'd be glad if someone would help. I want to learn from my mistakes, and it's better if someone else points it out for you.

I'm not review-hungry, so I won't nag you guys for any. But I'd like to voice the opinions I think most authors on this site have: We don't always want reviews saying "Update, please!" or "That was sexy!", etc. Most of us want to know how we did, where we can improve on, and what elements to keep and expand upon. A lot of the authors' goals on this site are to have fun sharing and reading stories. So please, the next time you are moved or impressed enough to write a review, write a little bit more, no matter how short, like: "You have good humor!" It makes a lot of positive difference. :)

Before this review gets any longer, I'll end it. Please check my profile for more info. I might set up a poll in the near future.


	6. Shiba Ganju

**Not-so-long-author-note:** Hey! This is the 6th chapter for When It's Rukia. I'll say more in the author note below, **SO PLEASE READ THE AUTHOR NOTE BELOW.**

This is rated **T** for mature language.

**Warning: Possible spoilers**

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><p><strong>When It's Rukia – Shiba Ganju<strong>

Kuchiki Rukia, you say? Of course I hate her. I hate her guts, hate the fact that she speared my older brother and dragged his body back to me and sis', only to say in a cold voice that she robbed us of the one role model we had in the Shiba clan.

How does she repay aniki for his tutoring? By gutting him like a Rukongai brat gutting a fish in the lower districts. Speaking of which, she did come from Rukongai, the 78th or the 79th district, whichever. It doesn't matter or appeal to me to know every little detail about my brother's pint-sized murderer, but at the same time, I found myself disgusted at the fact that I was somewhat fascinated at how such a small, _evil_ kid could have the heart and the ability to do that. No, Kaien, in his usual good 'ol and honest fashion probably never suspected her, and or was soft with her, and got stabbed in the back for his troubles.

…These are some of the thoughts I had months ago. It's not really all right now, that'd be too screwed up to pretend like nothing happened after all, but I think I've calmed down. …I wish Kuukaku nee-chan would calm down in daily life, and I hope to any god or deity or Shiba ancestor out there that she doesn't find this letter and this particular line.

But yeah, anyways, you can imagine how I would have felt to learn that on a rescue mission with some of my new close friends (and ryoka, to boot, imagine a noble Shiba member making friends with outsiders) that the person they were rescuing was none other than the murderer of Kaien, Kuchiki Rukia.

…What?

What the _fuck_ is this? I didn't sign up on some life-risking mission, promise my hella crazy sister that I'd return and succeed, and stick with my new friends in order to save Kuukaku nee-chan's and my older brother's _murderer_. That's just screwed up…

Two things helped to change my opinion of her though.

I was freaked out, sure, no matter what threats Kuukaku would act upon towards me if she heard me saying that, and no matter how determined I was. I mean, literally everywhere we went, it was nothing but lieutenants or 3rd-seat officers and the like, even some captains to liven up the party. That's why I was pretty impressed (and that's hard for me, to be impressed I mean) by Ichigo and what his object of rescue must be worth for him to all these reckless things.

Imagine my surprise when that white seki seki wall opened to reveal that the prisoner was none other than the little murderer.

You kidding me? What a messed up world. I went through all of that, and _the_ Kenpachi Zaraki just to save this piece of trash! And what was with her attitude? Just saying like she didn't care, like it was in the past: _"It is alright, Hanatarou. He is correct… Member of the Shiba clan, without a doubt, your older brother…Shiba Kaien…_

"…_was killed by me."_

I actually don't remember what I did after that, whether she had come close enough for me to grab hold of her robes, or if I had leapt over to her myself to wring the sorry life out of her, but somehow I ended up with the collar of her robes fisted in my hand.

"_Do as you wish."_

How could she say she killed my brother in that nonchalant tone? Wasn't he her teacher? Wasn't he her friend? Wasn't he someone _important_ to her? And what's with that nonchalant phrase? "'Do as you wish.'?" Is she kidding me? Does she want a death wish?

"_If it is by your hand, I shall not resist death."_

I had later thought on this phrase, thought it'd weird. Why would somebody who apparently had no problems killing my brother, offer her life to me, as if like she was trying to make up for it? At the time, I was too pissed off at her tone, her calmness, to care much about her choice of words.

"_What?"_ I had growled in disbelief.

Of course, Hanatarou, the peaceful little shrimp, tried to get me off of her, but had little success. Well, he has nothing to blame but his physical build. It'll take several hundred more years to catch up to my muscular body for him, if he ever does.

Then who should come up but Kuchiki Byakuya.

Kuchiki Byakuya, Rukia's older brother. Heh, how ironic. She killed Kaien, my elder brother, but now her own brother, adopted or not, was out to kill her by execution.

Anyways, Hanatarou tried to face him on his own, asking me to save Rukia, no matter how selfish his request was. Selfish? Hah! The squirt was shaking like a rabbit when he went to face Byakuya. So of course I did the logical (nee-chan would have called it brave, but stupid) thing and rushed after him and threw him back to Rukia. But then…

"_Rukia-san! You mustn't go!"_

"_Let go, Hanatarou! I must stop that Shiba clansman!_

"_He will be kil-"_

Stop me…why? You didn't have a problem killing a fellow Shiba clansman, one Shiba Kaien, now did you? Why do you have a problem with me dying?

Even as I heard that, I was too busy with facing one of the worst Shinigami badasses of all time. The worst part of all this, I had already met him once, but apparently he didn't remember. After all, how would the great "true first" noble clan leader remember a fallen noble clan twerp like me?

As I was facing him, I had a sort of grim perspective, despite my lifelong goal to avenge my brother's murderer, who stood barely several feet away. This was a more immediate do-or-die mission, but not for her, never for her. It was for the cowardly yet courageous Hanatarou, whose dearest wish was to save Rukia, even at the cost of his life. A part of me was touched by his gesture.

Tricks wouldn't work against a guy of his level, so I just settled for doing a good ol' firecracker bomb, but got sliced up my arm. But any decent Shiba can't and won't back down from something like that, so I called out to him.

"_Shut yer trap! There ain't a single coward who'd turn tail and run from just _that!

"_Not among the men of the _Shiba clan_!"_

That one phrase, I would later find out, almost happened to be the biggest mistake of my life.

Kuchiki Byakuya turned around to face me, some kind of new interest lit up in his eyes. But the interest wasn't like an interest in someone of his equal. In fact, I doubt that he considered many people as his equal. No, the look in his eyes told me he was suddenly ready to _kill_ me.

"_I see. So you are of the Shiba clan."_

His voice was freakin' deadly as he said that. At the time, for the life of me, I couldn't really figure out why his tone held so much anger, rather than annoyance that an annoying pest of a disgraceful noble clan had survived.

"_Then I apologize for going easy on you._

"_I shall not let you leave here _alive_."_

What the hell was he going to do from that distance? Unless he could magically throw his sword with good accuracy, I doubted he could do much from his position.

"_You mustn't, Nii-sama!"_

Oh shut up already. But I was still confused as to why she was so against my death…

"_Scatter, Senbonzakura."_

…The hell? His blade was… dissolving? And why were the fragments pink? Where were the going?

"_Run!"_ Rukia had shrieked, with all the desperation and panic she could muster in her voice.

I'm telling you, why are you so concerned about me?

Then the petals fell.

Afterwards, I could only lay down in a pool of my own blood, until the 13th captain, Ukitake Jushiro healed me and got me to a prison.

Uryu, that nerdy person, later explained to me one of my many confusions from that scene. He concluded the reason I was still alive, even after Byakuya tried to kill me, was that he had hesitated slightly when Rukia had cried for me to run in such a pained tone. He also deduced that the reason I was sent to a prison, despite Ukitake-taicho's words that he'd help me, was to keep me safe from other Shinigami while in confinement. Pretty shocking that Byakuya cared enough 'bout his sister to listen to her, even if it was unconsciously. And this was from the same guy who was so hell-bent on getting her executed for some reason.

Later, I also found out that the reason Kuchiki Byakuya was so intent on killing me after learning I was of the Shiba clan was because he blamed the Shiba clan for what his sister went through, when she had almost died. Huh, so aristocrat boy _can_ care about his little sis.

But that still didn't explain why Rukia was so against me dying, and why she didn't mind death by my hands.

After the whole hullabaloo was over, and we figured out Aizen was the real mastermind, who left after dominating everyone, I went back home to my sister, who proceeded to beat the shit out of me for not participating enough in the second half of the whole affair. Well excuse me for being injured and imprisoned at the same time. Ah geez, I really hope she doesn't read that part…

Anyways, nee-chan explained everything to Rukia when she came back, and it all made sense. That was the second thing that changed me.

I guess I had sort of forgiven her after hearing her attempts to spare me and seeing the sorry state she was in on Sokyoku Hill with Aizen and his cronies, and the nearby dying bodies of Abarai Renji and Kurosaki Ichigo. She looked like the saddest most pathetic betrayed girl ever, that even my revenge-fueled heart didn't have the conviction to hate her then.

Then after all that shenanigans, she approached me and nee-chan, who was beating me up. Good timing, I had to admit then. Then I heard for the first time what Kuukaku had been carrying with her for so long…

The truth.

I, of course, listened in on the whole thing, and what I thought of as cold hard facts of a murder got twisted into something like a horror movie gone wrong, if such a thing was possible. Apparently, Rukia didn't have any choice in that situation but to kill him because he was already fused with the sick Hollow bastard, yet she carried a guilt for who knows how long, thinking it her fault.

Well. That obviously changed things for me, and for nee-chan, it must have changed her years ago. I was a bit mad that she hadn't told me the truth, but with my age at the time of aniki's death, she was probably trying to spare me from trauma. Psha, trauma? Who, me? You've got to be kid-

Oh shit, nee-chan's here, better g-

(Frantic ink blots and a long skewed line from the end of the previous sentence can be seen, almost as if the previous writer's hand was dragged by something abnormally strong…)

(Several inches down, a new handwriting can be seen…)

Ok, so I finished beating up my worthless little brother, and if anybody reading this has a problem with the change in perspective, the beating, or both, you're answering to one angry Shiba Kuukaku. I don't even know why I'm getting this worked up or writing in this to begin with…

So yeah, to continue where Ganju left off, Ukitake told me some time ago about what had really happened. He told me right away, thinking I was old enough to handle it maturely. I was.

Of course I cried a little, freaked out a little, and did all manners of crazy stuff in the Shiba household, but eventually calmed down enough to think of Ganju, who had already seen Kaien's corpse carried by Kuchiki Rukia.

A picture is worth a thousand words they say, even if they may be the wrong words. For Ganju, in that dark moment, it couldn't have looked anything but a little girl had just killed his beloved older brother… seemingly without any regrets.

I couldn't tell him then, thinking it would break him or get him too confused or too twisted, so I withheld the truth from him, no matter how much I wanted to tell him this little girl wasn't the current cause of our misfortune.

But I also couldn't tell him this misfortune was brought upon us partly because of our own reckless brother.

I'll leave it off here, as I have to attend to some new fireworks I've made.

…

…

…

(New handwriting after several inches down...)

Pst, this is Ganju. Nee-chan forgot about this letter, so I'm going to add the last of my two cents to this letter.

Anyways, if you guys haven't wet your pants because of my scary sister, there's one last thing you should know.

After hearing the truth indirectly from nee-chan (since she was mostly retelling it to Rukia and all), I realized why Rukia hadn't wanted me to die. She hadn't hated Kaien, or killed him because of some base reason. She and Ukitake-taicho probably knew, somewhere deep in their hearts, no matter all the love they had for him, whether as an underling or an idol-slash-mentor-ish way, it was too late.

In fact, she was so guilty over what the Shiba clan must have been going through after the incident, that she resolved not to let anymore Shibas get injured or killed. It was all the more urgent for her to prevent me from dying since I was the same little brother she had caused deep trauma for years ago.

Heh, this still doesn't mean I've forgiven her completely. A part of me wishes that she could have tried harder to find a way to save him, and another part of me knows that isn't possible, so I'll just the whole matter rest for now.

One last thing. I had mentioned to Hanatarou as we were standing in front of that jail in what seemed years ago, that Rukia must have been one hot chick or some great cutie. Maybe I wasn't so off, but I get the feeling… No, I know that uptight Kuchiki Byakuya would probably blow any "unworthy" suitors or boyfriends away with his Zanpaktou (geez, I still have nightmares; who knew pink could be for something so scary…?) and Ichigo wouldn't be too far behind… for himself…

Ah well, Ichigo may get his girl or not (he'll have to face Byakuya though, and boy would that make for a good in-law bonding), but I'm still the most handsome guy in the whole of Soul Society! Ahahaha-

(Some nondescript scribbling can be seen, along with some fading wet marks of what suspiciously appears to be drool, and the imprint of one large cheek…)

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><p><strong>Super-long-author-note: <strong>Hey guys, as usual, thanks so much for all the visitors and hits to my stories! While I'd love to hear from you guys by review or messaging, your interest in my fics has made me quite happy!

**PLEASE READ THIS. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT. **I'm sorry for those who waited so long for this to be updated. Also, I also hope you'll excuse me for this, but I'm putting this on **hiatus** for the time being to focus on other fics. The condition I'm in now barely lets me put my attention to one fic.

For some of you, you may know that I have **lung cancer**, about early to mid-stage. After my latest update, I fell gravely ill and my heart stopped functioning for a while. So I was sent to the ER and later the ICU, and have recently been discharged from there. I'm recovering, but I'm sorry that you readers have to have such a sickly author and I hope I can pick this up later. So to make this clear, this fic will be on **hiatus**. Now, on for the actual story reflection.

I said I'd try to mix some, but I see to be doing more important characters than minor characters in Rukia's life. Ganju is really key to Rukia's life, since he was one of the obstacles in forgiving herself about Kaien's death. I couldn't inspire myself to write about anyone else, so I decided on him. This isn't my best work nor my longest, but I hope I can feel up to it to provide better in the future. I can't expect him to be all friendly with Rukia, even after learning what really happened, so I thought it'd be interesting to show the change in his opinion of her… I added a little of Kuukaku's perspective too, and tried to add humor where they changed, and especially at the end. Too weak to write anything more, sorry guys. I love you reviewers and anonymous readers. I'd love it if you could review by signing so I can reply to you guys directly, but just seeing the amount of visitors to my stories lifts me up too.

**For the other fics**, I will get around to updating them, don't you worry. I'm sorry if some of my readers gave up on me.

**PS: **For the first person who notices one change in my super-long-author-note, I will give them an oneshot based on their preferences, or a freestyle made by me. Post your answer by review please. ^^ The oneshot prize will be posted as a chapter of the oneshot collection fic you can find on my profile.


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